Silas : Ash

The woods…


Of all his crimes… He weeps hardest for his mountain home.


“The great Yosemite Wildfire has finally been put out, but at a cost. There are a reported four deaths. A hunter and three firemen. The President has called for a moment of silence and remembrance for those lost. The memorial will be held in Helena, Montana this Sunday, at eleven in the morning-“


Seattle once again…

Silas finds himself in the rainy city. He leaves on the beach, nearby.

It’s a place he can run to if he should…. lose himself.


Those poor, poor people…


Silas looked down at his water. It was in a glass. It had been years since he drank from a glass.


The sound of Sirius’s lapping tongue at the creek back at their home was something he wished he could hear again. But he can’t.


Sirius is gone.


Silas walked slowly up the street. To her. To his Anna.


He knocked on the door calmly.


“I’m sorry…I was looking for Anna.” He spoke to the man, holding a very young boy who answered the door.


“I’ll call her. Honey! Someone’s at the door!”


His eyes shot to the boy.


He found himself welling up.


She had herself a son.


Anna came to the door. “Silas?”


Words… She speaks!

She speaks again!

His eyes burned with tears.

She must truly be happy now… She must have finally moved on… Onward and upward.


Silas was so happy to hear her soft, delicate voice.


She leaned in. “Is that you?!”


He nodded slowly and forced a smile. “I just wanted to say hello.”


“Please…Come in!”


He shook his head. “I can’t. I really have to go.”




“I just needed to see you.”


She wiped her eyes, “You’re going. Aren’t you?”


He nodded. “Slowly but surely.”


“I want you to meet my family.” She pulled him by the shirt.


“This is Eric. My husband.”


The man smiled warmly and shook his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Anna’s told me all about you.”


He smiled courteously. “Nice to meet you too Eric.”


She gestured to her son. “And this is….My son. Silas.”


He crouched over with a heavy grunt and said hello to the little boy. “What’s your name.”


“That is his name.”


He looked up to her. Then to the boy.


She smiled, “I wanted to name him after someone, without whom, I would never have found the light of joy in the darkness I was living in.”


Silas heaved himself up. He ignored how much his body hurt.


“All I have ever done was dream about you. In all my years…Wandering…lonliness… I thought I’d be sad to say goodbye to you…”


“You’re not?” She tilted her head and sat with her son.


“No. Because despite all of my struggles. Seeing you find happiness… Is my light in the dark.”


He went back down onto his knees and pulled a thin rope necklace off his neck. “I made this a long time ago. I made one for me, and another for a very good friend of mine. It’s a reminder. There’s always something nice. Always something beautiful in even the ugly places. No matter how hard things can be… Dedicate yourself to those good things that make you happy.” He looked up to the boy’s mother.


“Because even when they’re a world away…They’ll keep you smiling.”


He stood up and coughed. Eric helped him up.  “Thank you…”


He looked to the man. “Take care of her. Never let her cry. Never let her dreams haunt her. And on her birthday, she likes lemon cakes.” Silas wiped his eyes, “And balloons. Lots and lots of balloons.”


He choked up on his words a bit. “And when fireworks go off. Be sure to hold her close. And remind her not to be afraid.”


Anna let some tears fall from her face and nodded, “You remembered.”


Silas looked at her and smiled, “How could I ever forget?”


He approached Anna, and kissed her gently on the cheek. His beard tickled her cheek and she smiled through her tears. He handed her a few envelopes and said, “Please. Mail these for me?”


She wiped her cheek and nodded. He smiled and said, “I never stopped loving you. Goodbye, Anna.”


“Goodbye, Silas.”


And with that. He was gone.


Silas walked the beach for hours.


So long.


And he sat down beside a nice big rock. There was a little lean-to up in the rocks.


He sat down and pulled his coat off, to let the nice cool ocean air hit his body.


He pulled the bandages off his shoulder..


The bullet wound was seriously infected.


But he had to take care of his good friend.


He opened a bag of dog treats and cooked sausages and left it in a pile for Sirius to feast.


He pat his friend on the head and ran a finger along the rope collar he had made, “You’re going to be okay… Be happy. Never stop being you.”


Sirius looked at him. “Goodbye, Firestarter.”




Silas succumbed to the infection and his heart slowed to a dead stop.


The next day, the letters arrived.


One led a conservationist group to the beach to bring Sirius to a local wolf sanctuary.


One for each of those whose lives he destroyed. Apologizing. Begging for forgiveness.


One for his family, which may or may not ever be read.


And one that came back around to Anna. One telling her his story.


Anna read it and kissed it gently, leaving a pink lipstick mark there.


“Silas, do not be afraid. I’m here. I’m here.”


His obituary was not read by many.

His epitaph was not carved deep into the granite.

His body is only visited by one person on the day he was buried.
Visited by a few over the years.
A wedded couple.
A man he met here and there.
A conservationist.
A researcher seeking answers.
A young child who caught fire.
His obituary was not read by many.

His epitaph was not carved deep into the granite.

His body is only visited by one person on the day he was buried.


You’re not alone anymore.

In our cold lives, you were keeping us all warm.

Never are we burnt.

So don’t be afraid, nothing more will.
It’s all so beautiful.
As were you.



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